July 7, 2018 marks a year of home ownership which has been a whirlwind and full of lessons and great experiences! I wanted to take this time to dedicate my next few posts things that I’ve learned and experiences I’ve had while going through the process.
Building a Home
Building a home was a great experience where you are able to choose your lot, your finishes, and experience the process from the ground up but it also includes a very steep learning curve because not many people are versed in this process. Financing, deposits, insurance, taxes, and so much more have made this an exhilarating learning process. Here is a quick snapshot of the different options you have when buying a home.
- Buying an existing home
- Make sure that you take the time to have a home inspection done on the home because you want to protect yourself as much as possible from any defects that have not been disclosed. (Note– still doesn’t protect you from things behind the wall)
- Building a home in an established community (My option)
- Take the time to see what the incentives are, the builder warranty, and selecting your floorplan and lot. (important to understand lot premiums that you will pay on desired lots and the upfront money you will need to provide in order to start the process and secure your lot (it applies to your closing costs in the end))
- Building a home on a lot you have purchased
- You will need to first purchase a lot that is for sale, contact a builder, work with that builder and architect to create a customer floorplan for the home, select finishes, manage the building process since it is not regulated by a community. (it is important that you find an insured builder and that you only pay deposits to start the work and not a major amount up front to prevent any fraud or loss of your money if the builder disappears.)
In my next few posts in this series, I will discuss the process of adding value to your home, tax exemptions, and the fun part for most people….decor.
As always, Be Fearlessly Authentic!
With the changes in weather my skin literally went through some real things. In an effort to combat these changes I developed a very specific skincare regimen that is conducive to an Esquires lifestyle and wanted to share with you all. I have oily, acne and hyper pigmentation prone skin but the products and regimen has been successfully helping combat those things.
- Once a month- Chemical Peel or Facial
- 2x a week- Sheet Mask (Garnier SkinActive- The Super Purifying Charcoal Sheet Mask and The Super Hydrating Mask Mattifying)
- 2x a week- Exfoliator (Bio Peel- Green Tea and Wine)
- Wash Face (Biore Deep Pore Charcoal Cleanser and Boscia Clear Complexion Cleanser)
- Toner (Rubbing Alcohol 70% or Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar)
- Klairs Supple Preparation Facial Toner
- Lancome Energie De Vie Lotion
- Sunday Riley Acne Treatment Face Oil
- Dark Spot corrector (Black Opal Even True- Tri-complex tone correct)
- SPF (Sunprise Mile Airy Finish SPF 50+)
- Moisuturizer (Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel)
- Wash face (Biore Deep Pore Charcoal Cleanser and Boscia Clear Complexion Cleanser)
- Toner (Rubbing Alcohol 70% or Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar))
- Klairs Supple Preparation Facial Toner
- Lancome Energie De Vie Lotion
- The Ordinary Lactic Acid 10% HA 2%
- Sunday Riley Luna Sleeping Night oil
- Tea Tree Oil Spot treatment (optional)
I have come a long way with my skin care, specifically with my face. I am following the Korean skin care system in a way and trying to remain consistent to really test out what works. My main concerns are eliminating acne and removing dark spots. My body care just consists of Black Soap (Dudu Osun), Jergens lotion, and Arm and Hammer Essentials Deodorant.
Be Fearlessly Authentic
“Situational learning” is the process of reflecting on negative situations and discovering the learning opportunity instead of focusing on the negative aspects.
Imagine how much more bearable life would be if you were able to easily attach to the positive aspects of every situation in life. I mean you would be at peace with all outcomes, released from stress, and open to living fearlessly. That type of Freedom is what I strive for and situational learning has been a catalyst for me achieving the level of Freedom.
Some background on myself is that I have a tendency of reflecting on situations in my life through the “what did I miss?“, “what did I do to cause this negative thing to happen”,or even blaming the other party. I noticed that because of my thought process I started to dwell on things from years ago instead of receiving the lesson and moving on with that newly acquired knowledge.Living in past is even more detrimental than buying into negative situations. While living in the past you will likely miss all of the great opportunities currently presented to you and it will eventually develop into a state of depression because there is literally nothing you can do to change the past. You only have control over the NOW.
This concept has been taught through religion by the concept of faith where you are trusting in a higher power and understanding that there are no mistakes. It has also been taught through Law of Attraction where your mindset controls the outcome of different situations in life so if you approach each situation in a positive light then more positivity will enter your space. Literally you attract your thoughts! I could go on and on with the different quotes, movies, and songs that speak to this concept but overall it is just “Mind over Matter”.
I will end this post just encouraging you to really reflect on your thought about each area of your life and trying to identify the negative spaces and actively pursue a state of positivity. Remember it all begins with your thought!
“If somebody says something negative to you, do not react. You have to get yourself to a point where you can stay calm and peaceful inside no matter what negative things happen on the outside. When you can maintain peace and joy within you despite any situation on the outside, you have become the master of everything.”
~The Secret Daily Teachings
-Be Fearlessly Authentic-
So as I’ve been working on my goals and trying to push forward in my God given purpose I’ve been hearing a lot about my choices and how they will effect my ability “to get” a husband. The craziest thing is that I hear this more from females than I do from men. This really made me think about what society is telling our girls and women.
So this all started with me working towards purchasing a home. Somehow this will ruin my chances of “getting” a husband because “What will your husband be able to do for you?”. This is where I guess my mindset is much different…imagine a female having he “stuff” together and meeting a man who also has his “stuff” together (Note: Have the characteristics that you expect to see in a spouse) then that allows both parties to merge their respective “stuff” and build an empire together. I have always been taught that you should have your own passion, goals, and accomplishments and in the process of achieving those goals your soulmate will find you.
I guess I just wanted to reassure women who are constantly hearing that they need a man to achieve some major life goals such as buying a home, starting your own business, traveling, etc. that you should know that if it is something that you’re passionate about you should pursue it on your own and you never know, during that process of self progression you may find your mate. Think about it, if you have a home and your mate has a home then when you all get together you could use both of those homes as rental property while purchasing a home together. This allows you to come into a relationship with equity that can benefit your union. Also if you want your doctorate degree or want a leadership position at work, go for it….don’t let people make you think that by having that status in your career that it will make it impossible for you to date. Don’t think that you have to downplay your MAGIC in order to keep a man. Any man who really wants a wife will want one who has something to offer and who he can build an empire with as PARTNERS.
I hope this helps someone who has been dimming their light in order to keep or get a man. Remember you are strong, beautiful and you should always Be Fearlessly Authentic!
~Be Fearlessly Authentic~
In a generation ran by “here and now” it is important to take a step back and allow some time to really develop your dreams and goals. I speak from personal experience where I have jumped the gun with a few things in my life and had to deal with the consequences while working overtime to fix everything. If I would have just taken a little more time instead of forcing it I would have reduced the consequences. Now that I have moved past my school and entry level working stage I am excited about reflecting on what I’ve learned and using that as I head into a new stage of my life. After major reflection I realize the “Major Key” (DJ Khaled voice) is to really exercise PATIENCE.
This doesn’t mean that I am not planning and pushing for my dreams and goals but I am starting to understand that everything takes time and as long as you prepare and allow God to put you in the perfect place it will come to fruition. So as I review my remaining three goals for 2016 I’m trying not to get antsy and just allow things to come together before we move into 2017. So I challenge you to really reflect and meditate on your decisions thus far and see if Patience has been an issue for you. If so, then write out your goals and dreams then start listing the things you will need to complete in order for it to be successful and start working through that list. Pay attention to everything around you because there may be opportunities for you to enhance those dreams and goals that you might miss if you are too tunnel vision.
We live in a very fluid society so don’t feel discouraged if your dream or goal does not come to pass the way that you envisioned it but instead look at the other opportunities around you that may be even bigger or better than you originally imagined. I hope this helps someone who feels that they are not achieving their goals in the time they have set. Keep planning and preparing and it shall come to pass.
~Be Fearlessly Authentic~
So I just came across a video on youtube about ‘Patience and Perseverance’ for the dreamers of the world. This video hit the nail on the head for me because I have so many ideas and concepts that I come up with on a daily basis. I have dreams of doing much more than I am right now and have this gut feeling that there is so much more out there for me to accomplish.
The point that was made in this video was that this just may not be your time to accomplish what you know to be your destiny because you have lessons to be learned in your current space. One of those lessons may be practicing gratitude because why would the Lord bless you with more opportunities if you don’t appreciate your current situtaiton. This can be really hard for dreamers because we tend to live in the future and what we would like to accomplish and great things that we can see happening that we tend to forget about what is happening in the moment and all of the blessings around us. This leads to the first point of patience. Whew! Patience is something that I struggle with and I have to remind myself constantly that things will not happen automatically and anything worth have is worth working and waiting for. I have to believe that God has a plan for me and as long as I stay in the moment while continuing to dream I will gain so much wisdom and knowledge so when I achieve the ‘much more’ I will know to give God the glory and be able to share my story with others.
Right now my life looks great to others and I know there are people who would love to be in the position that I am right now which is why I have to live in the moment and appreciate the blessings that I’ve already been given while mentally preparing myself for my ‘much more’.
Just thought that I would share this for all of the dreamers out there….appreciate your current situation and practice patience while waiting on your dreams to come to fruition and know that when you perservere you must give God the glory!!!
~Be Fearlessly Authentic~