The New Esquire In The City

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I’m baccccccckkkkkk!!!!

I know it has been a long time since i’ve posted and there has been so many GREAT things that have happened that I would like to share with you all. Before I start sharing I wanted to take the time to publicly state what my plan is for Esquire in the City to hold myself accountable.

First, I will commit to posting once a week and will continue to post motivational and lifestyle posts that encompass the life of an Esquire in the City.

I would like to thank everyone who’ve supported me so far and I look forward to sharing some great content with you in the near future.

Much Love!!!

Reba J.

~Be Fearlessly Authentic~

The Professional Retreat

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Something that has been bothering me recently has been what I call the “Professional Retreat” which is when people in professional careers quit without the proper notice or any care for the concept of burning bridges. It baffles me that people find it so easy to just not show up for a job without actually “quitting” but using that as a passive aggressive way of obtaining the same result.

I remember when I first started working I was told that it is important to always give two weeks notice if you know that you would like to leave a job and if you are unable to give two weeks to at least give written notice and try to make sure you allocate your responsibilities and documents to another person in preparation for your “retreat”. In the past month I have heard multiple stories and have seen people leave jobs without saying a word and refusing to answer the phone when management tries to inquire about what is going on.

The worst story that I’ve heard is from my mother who works in the medical field as Nurse taking care of the elderly. Not sure if you all know but being a nurse is a 24/7 type of position because they are unable to take off on all standard business holidays and there has to be a person present in order to relieve the current nurse. Well one night after my mothers 12 hour shift the person who was supposed to release her did not show up, he didn’t call, didn’t answer any of the calls from her and other managers. Sadly, this is not the first time that my mother has had to deal with this in nursing positions because there are so many opportunities that retention is a major issue. What baffled me is that they are responsible for elderly people’s healthcare and wellbeing and still didn’t take into consideration that they should at least provide management with notice.

I personally think this is a generational issue because we have lost the human aspect of our society. People hide behind computers, text messages, emails and other forms of communication in order to get away from the face to face or phone communication of the past. People are now afraid to express anything negative so they rather take the passive aggressive route and say nothing at all. I have seen this phenomenon in personal relationships, careers, and overall human behavior. **Please note I am not bashing because I have had my share of addressing certain situations in this manner.**

I feel that we need to get back to the foundation of building and nurturing relationships because we have all heard “Don’t burn bridges” but do we really understand what this means. Even if the situation ends in a way we were not expecting at least try to be cordial because you never know when you might need or see that person again or in terms of the analogy, when you might need to cross that bridge again.

How do you all feel about this concept and what are some stories that you’ve encountered in your career or personal life?

 

~Be Fearlessly Authentic~

Reba J.

 

Bookworm Hype Session 1

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So, I think I will start writing book reviews on my blog because that is something that I spend a lot of time doing (self proclaimed Kindle Addict) and really one of my life long passions. I have so many fav authors and series that it is only right that I document my thoughts and feelings about these books as I tend to do in person with my friends and family. With that being said, here is my first review which is a bit premature because it is just that GOOD!

Today I started reading a book called ‘Self-Love Sunday A Collection of Reminders’ and let me tell you. This book has hit me to the core and I’m only 24% through the book (shoutout to Kindle Unlimited for the exact percentage). First she discusses aspects of relationships from past failures to continued cycles while questioning what she is doing wrong and opening herself up to receive answers from God. It is crazy to me because I’ve literally asked the same questions and have experienced my fair share of relational failures.

The action that she has taken, a vow of celibacy, is something I have tried and failed in my humanly way. It is basically my way of rebelling against the answer that God has provided me for my questions and desires. Having an opportunity to see someone else has dealt with similar issues and have received the same answer has really opened my eyes.  I am now encouraged to live by these words “Don’t settle for intimacy before commitment” and going back to the original “Reba” before the hurt, disappointment, and fear but with the knowledge from those lessons I’ve learned. I will no longer be afraid of rejection or missing out on that person when it just results in me settling for much less than I deserve. I will strive to build friendships first then relational commitment and finally intimacy. I really do feel encouraged by B. Love sharing her experiences and allowing me to see some of myself in her.

Now that I have moved on past how I will approach potential relationships here is what I will do in the mean time. I will continue to work hard, build my career, save money, follow my dreams, continue to write, clear my skin, grow my hair, workout and just a better ‘me’ spiritually, emotionally, and physically. This is literally what I got from the first 9 chapters on this book. Whew! Can’t wait to finish it.

Check out B. Love on Amazon Kindle!

– Be Fearlessly Authentic

Female Independence…What’s the big deal?

So as I’ve been working on my goals and trying to push forward in my God given purpose I’ve been hearing a lot about my choices and how they will effect my ability “to get” a husband. The craziest thing is that I hear this more from females than I do from men. This really made me think about what society is telling our girls and women.

So this all started with me working towards purchasing a home. Somehow this will ruin my chances of “getting” a husband because “What will your husband be able to do for you?”. This is where I guess my mindset is much different…imagine a female having he “stuff” together and meeting a man who also has his “stuff” together (Note: Have the characteristics that you expect to see in a spouse) then that allows both parties to merge their respective “stuff” and build an empire together. I have always been taught that you should have your own passion, goals, and accomplishments and in the process of achieving those goals your soulmate will find you.

I guess I just wanted to reassure women who are constantly hearing that they need a man to achieve some major life goals such as buying a home, starting your own business, traveling, etc. that you should know that if it is something that you’re passionate about you should pursue it on your own and you never know, during that process of self progression you may find your mate. Think about it, if you have a home and your mate has a home then when you all get together you could use both of those homes as rental property while purchasing a home together. This allows you to come into a relationship with equity that can benefit your union. Also if you want your doctorate degree or want a leadership position at work, go for it….don’t let people make you think that by having that status in your career that it will make it impossible for you to date. Don’t think that you have to downplay your MAGIC in order to keep a man. Any man who really wants a wife will want one who has something to offer and who he can build an empire with as PARTNERS.

I hope this helps someone who has been dimming their light in order to keep or get a man. Remember you are strong, beautiful and you should always Be Fearlessly Authentic!

~Be Fearlessly Authentic~

Reba J.

 

Welcome to 2017

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Alright Ladies and Gents we have entered a new year filled with opportunity and experiences! This is also the time of year where people tend to reflect on the previous year and determine what goals they would like to set for the new year. I personally had a WONDERFUL and TRANSITIONAL 2016 and am really excited about what PROGRESS 2017 has in store for me. So in my process of reflection and goal drafting I decided to host a vision board party where my friends and I were able to draft our goals and visions for the new year. I thought that I would share with you all the most effective way to create goals for the new year that you can realistically achieve or make major moves to accomplishing those goals.

First thing first….

  1. Make REALISTIC GOALS but also make goals that you know you will have to work hard at achieving. I compare this to the college application process where you had your safe schools, medium schools, and reaching schools. You should have some goals that you know you can accomplish within 12 months and will not take much more that determination and dedication. Then you should have goals that require consistency, determination and dedication. Lastly, you should have goals that you will have to plan, revisit, create opportunities, and practice consistency, determination and dedication to achieve.
  2. Next you need to WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS in a list format and in a place where you can see it everyday to ensure that they are etched into your subconscious. Make sure to take steps every day to accomplish each of those goals. Each time you see your goals you should pray/meditate over it, believe that you will achieve it and prepare yourself to accomplish that goal. Remember that there is no need for you to stress over the goal…just work within reason and put out positive vibes about achieving that level of success.
  3. Last but definitely not least you definitely need to PRACTICE PATIENCE. As you know I talk about patience often on this blog because that happens to be one of the most impactful characteristics of a  human being. Understanding that “success is not a sprint but a marathon” and to make sure you take the time to appreciate the journey will make the practice of patience much more enjoyable. You tend to learn a lot about yourself and those around you during this journey so if you’re not taking the time to “be in the moment” then you will miss all of these lessons and will see yourself making the same mistakes over and over again.

So before I go I would like to give you all some guidance with drafting your goals/resolutions for this year. Remember this is an intimate process and it should be about your personal needs and wants and not those that society tends to place upon us. After  you have taken the time to understand your passion and purpose then you can start drafting goals in each of these categories:

  1. Personal Life– Things like learn a language, meditation, spiritual wellbeing, etc.
  2. Financial– Saving, buying something, or investing in something.
  3. Career– Advancement in your current position or transitioning to a new position
  4. Health– Physical (working out and diet), Mental (meditation, taking time to yourself, changing your mindset), and Spiritual (Yoga, meditation, devotionals, reading, etc.)
  5. Relationships– Mending friendship, keeping in touch with family members and loved ones, or allowing yourself to develop new relationships.

Just remember to BE IN THE MOMENT this year and appreciate your current situation as you work towards achieving your goals!

~Be Fearless Authentic~

Reba J.

 

Challenge Time!

 

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Today is November 1st and we are inching closer to 2017. I am a firm believer in ending each year off with a bang and not putting off things to next year but setting up the foundation now! With that being said I think it’s important for everyone to reflect on their goals and dreams today and come up with a challenge of things they can achieve in these next two months to help with starting 2017 off on a positive note. 

Rules:

  1. These goals and dreams can be in any area of your life it is not limited at all!
  2. Don’t feel pressured to complete/achieve each goal or dream just focus on taking steps to make it a reality.
  3. Write out your list and keep it in a place where you will see it everyday. I tend to keep my challenges in my planner because I carry it with me everywhere.
  4. Go into this challenge with a positive attitude and allow yourself to add, change, or rethink things throughout this journey. It is important that once you start working towards these goals you are open  to other things that may interest you or a different way of doing something that you hadn’t thought of in the past. This is a journey so allow yourself to be influenced and shaped by the journey. 

Have fun and feel free to share your challenge and how it’s going throughout these two months!

~Be Fearlessly Authentic~

Reba J.

 

Order My Steps….

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Whew! I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted but boy do I have a lot to share! First, let me give you some background on myself. So after passing the Bar exam I got my first job at a firm which I was super excited for the opportunity! But after a few months I knew that it wasn’t for me and since I’m not the type to quit or make rash decisions I focused my prayers on direction and guidance. 6 months into working at that firm, I received a call from my mentor with an opportunity to get a Certificate in Corporate Compliance and a call from a job opportunity in the Atlanta area. All of this was great but the job was a temporary job so the thought of leaving a permanent job to go to a temporary job was daunting but I stepped out on faith and moved to Atlanta and started the Compliance program.

One year and two months later, I have completed my Certificate Program and planning to sit for the CCEP exam and I am still at the company that offered me the temporary position. The only difference with my job situation is that as of May 2016 I was no longer a temporary employee and next week I will be starting a new position. So within a year I have been promoted twice and I am now in an area of law that I love!

I share all of this to showcase the great things that happen when you pray and step out on faith. Every time I think back I am just astonished by the blessings I have received this past year and I am excited to see what God has in store for me. I hope this story encourages someone to step out on faith and trust that God will order your steps and allow you to see your dreams come true!

~Be Fearlessly Authentic~

Reba J.