Female Independence…What’s the big deal?

So as I’ve been working on my goals and trying to push forward in my God given purpose I’ve been hearing a lot about my choices and how they will effect my ability “to get” a husband. The craziest thing is that I hear this more from females than I do from men. This really made me think about what society is telling our girls and women.

So this all started with me working towards purchasing a home. Somehow this will ruin my chances of “getting” a husband because “What will your husband be able to do for you?”. This is where I guess my mindset is much different…imagine a female having he “stuff” together and meeting a man who also has his “stuff” together (Note: Have the characteristics that you expect to see in a spouse) then that allows both parties to merge their respective “stuff” and build an empire together. I have always been taught that you should have your own passion, goals, and accomplishments and in the process of achieving those goals your soulmate will find you.

I guess I just wanted to reassure women who are constantly hearing that they need a man to achieve some major life goals such as buying a home, starting your own business, traveling, etc. that you should know that if it is something that you’re passionate about you should pursue it on your own and you never know, during that process of self progression you may find your mate. Think about it, if you have a home and your mate has a home then when you all get together you could use both of those homes as rental property while purchasing a home together. This allows you to come into a relationship with equity that can benefit your union. Also if you want your doctorate degree or want a leadership position at work, go for it….don’t let people make you think that by having that status in your career that it will make it impossible for you to date. Don’t think that you have to downplay your MAGIC in order to keep a man. Any man who really wants a wife will want one who has something to offer and who he can build an empire with as PARTNERS.

I hope this helps someone who has been dimming their light in order to keep or get a man. Remember you are strong, beautiful and you should always Be Fearlessly Authentic!

~Be Fearlessly Authentic~

Reba J.

 

Dating in the City

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So dating is the big topic around my circles of highly educated, accomplished, driven, cultured and SINGLE women. How can you balance all of your dreams and goals while finding the time to meet new people which may or may not lead to dating. As I said in my last post I am a dreamer and I spend a lot of time drafting plans to accomplish those dreams while actually working to accomplish those dreams and maintaining a full-time job. With being health conscious, career and passion driven there is just not enough hours in the day!

So I attended a singles mixer a few weeks ago geared towards women and men like myself who find it hard to meet people due to their hectic schedule. I had a great time at the ‘Mix and Mingle’ event and was introduced to the host who also has a program called the ‘Social Experience’ where she gets a bunch of information from each person and sets you up on blind dates with potential matches.

If you are anything like me it is really hard to put yourself out there and takes a lot of strength to go along with this because we are not ‘daters’ in the traditional sense.  We appreciate an organic and natural progression from friendship into a relationship. But as it was so eloquently pointed out to me “Where have you been going to meet new people everyday?” in response I screamed “EVERYDAY!?!?!”

Face it, majority of us tend to go places where we could meet new people with our close friends so stay in our comfort zone and don’t actually meet anyone new. If that’s not already a big problem we only do this once or twice a month so in all honestly when do we meet new people…..never. So with that revelation I swiftly signed up for this ‘Social Experience’ and have been matched with a few people. In the next few days I will going on these dates and I plan on going in there with an open mind while sharing my experience with  you all. I encourage anyone out there with a similar story to try something new, put yourself out there so that you may meet your new ‘bae’ or future husband/wife.

Please comment and let me know if you’ve tried blind dating, online dating, or some other creative way to get yourself out there while being a…. (insert profession) In The City!

~Be Fearlessly Authentic~
Reba J.