Year 1 of Home Ownership

house

July 7, 2018 marks a year of home ownership which has been a whirlwind and full of lessons and great experiences! I wanted to take this time to dedicate my next few posts things that I’ve learned and experiences I’ve had while going through the process.

Building a Home

Building a home was a great experience where you are able to choose your lot, your finishes, and experience the process from the ground up but it also includes a very steep learning curve because not many people are versed in this process. Financing, deposits, insurance, taxes, and so much more have made this an exhilarating learning process. Here is a quick snapshot of the different options you have when buying a home.

  1. Options
    • Buying an existing home
      • Make sure that you take the time to have a home inspection done on the home because you want to protect yourself as much as possible from any defects that have not been disclosed. (Note– still doesn’t protect you from things behind the wall)
    • Building a home in an established community (My option)
      • Take the time to see what the incentives are, the builder warranty, and selecting your floorplan and lot. (important to understand lot premiums that you will pay on desired lots and the upfront money you will need to provide in order to start the process and secure your lot (it applies to your closing costs in the end))
    • Building a home on a lot you have purchased
      • You will need to first purchase a lot that is for sale, contact a builder, work with that builder and architect to create a customer floorplan for the home, select finishes, manage the building process since it is not regulated by a community. (it is important that you find an insured builder and that you only pay deposits to start the work and not a major amount up front to prevent any fraud or loss of your money if the builder disappears.)

In my next few posts in this series, I will discuss the process of adding value to your home, tax exemptions, and the fun part for most people….decor.

As always, Be Fearlessly Authentic!

-Reba J.

Skincare Routine

With the changes in weather my skin literally went through some real things. In an effort to combat these changes I developed a very specific skincare regimen that is conducive to an Esquires lifestyle and wanted to share with you all. I have oily, acne and hyper pigmentation prone skin but the products and regimen has been successfully helping combat those things.

  • Once a month- Chemical Peel or Facial
  • 2x a week- Sheet Mask (Garnier SkinActive- The Super Purifying Charcoal Sheet Mask and The Super Hydrating Mask Mattifying)
  • 2x a week- Exfoliator (Bio Peel- Green Tea and Wine)
  • Morning
    • Wash Face (Biore Deep Pore Charcoal Cleanser and Boscia Clear Complexion Cleanser)
    • Toner (Rubbing Alcohol 70% or Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar)
    • Klairs Supple Preparation Facial Toner
    • Lancome Energie De Vie Lotion
    • Sunday Riley Acne Treatment Face Oil
    • Dark Spot corrector (Black Opal Even True- Tri-complex tone correct)
    • SPF (Sunprise Mile Airy Finish SPF 50+)
    • Moisuturizer (Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel)
  • Evening
    • Wash face (Biore Deep Pore Charcoal Cleanser and Boscia Clear Complexion Cleanser)
    • Toner (Rubbing Alcohol 70% or Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar))
    • Klairs Supple Preparation Facial Toner
    • Lancome Energie De Vie Lotion
    • The Ordinary Lactic Acid 10% HA 2%
    • Sunday Riley Luna Sleeping Night oil
    • Tea Tree Oil Spot treatment (optional)

I have come a long way with my skin care, specifically with my face. I am following the Korean skin care system in a way and trying to remain consistent to really test out what works. My main concerns are eliminating acne and removing dark spots. My body care just consists of Black Soap (Dudu Osun), Jergens lotion, and Arm and Hammer Essentials Deodorant.

Be Fearlessly Authentic

~Reba J.

The Professional Retreat

burningbridges

Something that has been bothering me recently has been what I call the “Professional Retreat” which is when people in professional careers quit without the proper notice or any care for the concept of burning bridges. It baffles me that people find it so easy to just not show up for a job without actually “quitting” but using that as a passive aggressive way of obtaining the same result.

I remember when I first started working I was told that it is important to always give two weeks notice if you know that you would like to leave a job and if you are unable to give two weeks to at least give written notice and try to make sure you allocate your responsibilities and documents to another person in preparation for your “retreat”. In the past month I have heard multiple stories and have seen people leave jobs without saying a word and refusing to answer the phone when management tries to inquire about what is going on.

The worst story that I’ve heard is from my mother who works in the medical field as Nurse taking care of the elderly. Not sure if you all know but being a nurse is a 24/7 type of position because they are unable to take off on all standard business holidays and there has to be a person present in order to relieve the current nurse. Well one night after my mothers 12 hour shift the person who was supposed to release her did not show up, he didn’t call, didn’t answer any of the calls from her and other managers. Sadly, this is not the first time that my mother has had to deal with this in nursing positions because there are so many opportunities that retention is a major issue. What baffled me is that they are responsible for elderly people’s healthcare and wellbeing and still didn’t take into consideration that they should at least provide management with notice.

I personally think this is a generational issue because we have lost the human aspect of our society. People hide behind computers, text messages, emails and other forms of communication in order to get away from the face to face or phone communication of the past. People are now afraid to express anything negative so they rather take the passive aggressive route and say nothing at all. I have seen this phenomenon in personal relationships, careers, and overall human behavior. **Please note I am not bashing because I have had my share of addressing certain situations in this manner.**

I feel that we need to get back to the foundation of building and nurturing relationships because we have all heard “Don’t burn bridges” but do we really understand what this means. Even if the situation ends in a way we were not expecting at least try to be cordial because you never know when you might need or see that person again or in terms of the analogy, when you might need to cross that bridge again.

How do you all feel about this concept and what are some stories that you’ve encountered in your career or personal life?

 

~Be Fearlessly Authentic~

Reba J.

 

Female Independence…What’s the big deal?

So as I’ve been working on my goals and trying to push forward in my God given purpose I’ve been hearing a lot about my choices and how they will effect my ability “to get” a husband. The craziest thing is that I hear this more from females than I do from men. This really made me think about what society is telling our girls and women.

So this all started with me working towards purchasing a home. Somehow this will ruin my chances of “getting” a husband because “What will your husband be able to do for you?”. This is where I guess my mindset is much different…imagine a female having he “stuff” together and meeting a man who also has his “stuff” together (Note: Have the characteristics that you expect to see in a spouse) then that allows both parties to merge their respective “stuff” and build an empire together. I have always been taught that you should have your own passion, goals, and accomplishments and in the process of achieving those goals your soulmate will find you.

I guess I just wanted to reassure women who are constantly hearing that they need a man to achieve some major life goals such as buying a home, starting your own business, traveling, etc. that you should know that if it is something that you’re passionate about you should pursue it on your own and you never know, during that process of self progression you may find your mate. Think about it, if you have a home and your mate has a home then when you all get together you could use both of those homes as rental property while purchasing a home together. This allows you to come into a relationship with equity that can benefit your union. Also if you want your doctorate degree or want a leadership position at work, go for it….don’t let people make you think that by having that status in your career that it will make it impossible for you to date. Don’t think that you have to downplay your MAGIC in order to keep a man. Any man who really wants a wife will want one who has something to offer and who he can build an empire with as PARTNERS.

I hope this helps someone who has been dimming their light in order to keep or get a man. Remember you are strong, beautiful and you should always Be Fearlessly Authentic!

~Be Fearlessly Authentic~

Reba J.

 

Life of a Dreamer


So I just came  across a video on youtube about ‘Patience and Perseverance’ for the dreamers of the world. This video hit the nail on the head for me because I have so many ideas and concepts that I come up with on a daily basis. I have dreams of doing much more than I am right now and have this gut feeling that there is so much more out there for me to accomplish.

The point that was made in this video was that this just may not be your time to accomplish what you know to be your destiny because you have lessons to be learned in your current space. One of those lessons may be practicing gratitude because why would the Lord bless you with more opportunities if you don’t appreciate your current situtaiton. This can be really hard for dreamers because we tend to live in the future and what we would like to accomplish and great things that we can see happening that we tend to forget about what is happening in the moment and all of the blessings around us. This leads to the first point of patience. Whew! Patience is something that I struggle with and I have to remind myself constantly that things will not happen automatically and anything worth have is worth working and waiting for. I have to believe that God has a plan for me and as long as I stay in the moment while continuing to dream I will gain so much wisdom and knowledge so when I achieve the ‘much more’ I will know to give God the glory and be able to share my story with others.

Right now my life looks great to others and I know there are people who would love to be in the position that I am right now which is why I have to live in the moment and appreciate the blessings that I’ve already been given while mentally preparing myself for my ‘much more’.

Just thought that I would share this for all of the dreamers out there….appreciate your current situation and practice patience while waiting on your dreams to come to fruition and know that when you perservere you must give God the glory!!!

~Be Fearlessly Authentic~

Reba J.